Most parents name a guardian and never think about it again.
But choosing a guardian is one of the most consequential decisions you’ll ever make — and the criteria most people use (love, proximity, family obligation) often miss the most important factors.
What You’re Actually Deciding
You’re not just picking someone to take care of your children if you die. You’re choosing:
- The values your children will be raised with
- The school systems they’ll grow up in
- How money will be managed on their behalf
- Whether siblings stay together
- What relationship they’ll have with your extended family
The Questions to Ask Before You Decide
Do they actually want to do this?
Many people name a guardian without asking first. Have the conversation. A reluctant guardian is worse than no guardian at all.
What are their parenting values?
Religion, discipline, education philosophy, screen time, extracurriculars — will they raise your children the way you would? Close enough?
What’s their financial situation?
A guardian doesn’t have to be wealthy — your estate and life insurance should fund the children’s care. But a guardian with significant debt or financial instability creates risk. Consider whether to separate the guardian role from the trustee role.
Where do they live?
Would your children have to change schools, leave their community, move across the country? Is that the right trade-off?
Are they healthy enough?
An elderly grandparent may be deeply loving but may not be able to raise a toddler to adulthood. Think long-term.
The Letter of Intent
Once you’ve chosen a guardian, the most important thing you can do is write them a Letter of Intent — a detailed document that tells them exactly how you want your children raised. Courts give these serious weight. Guardians use them as a roadmap.
Get the Letter of Intent to Guardians Template — $19 →
For the complete new parent estate planning toolkit:
New Parent Financial Bundle — $49 →
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The information in this post is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal, tax, or financial advice.